One Minute Theater - The Empire Strikes Back

Liv gurl, you gon’ have to ease yo’self on up out of here. You done fucked up the leader of the free world and the MF is strugglin!

Bitch please.  Tell him I’m here and I got some new La Perla underwear on.  I know how to handle my business.

Heifer, do you know how much brown liquor has been consumed in the past few weeks?  And now he’s spending all this time in the bathroom -  I ain’t got time for you to be stirring up more crazy.

So you need to bouncy walk your sweet ass out of the White….

Aaah shit.  Now I’m going to have to make another liquor store run, and those fuckers don’t accept checks.

Fitz: Let’s see, I’m standing here not getting laid, so it must be my weekly visit with Olivia.  For someone who isn’t mine, you ass sho’ is up in my house all the damn time.

And before you EVEN get started, let me just say, “Don’t ask for shit, you ain’t getting shit, and I don’t give a fuck.”


Author’s Note: It’s true, a hit dog really do holler.


Cy, is she gone yet?  I’m fixin’ to ugly cry and fall on the floor.


As always, Miss Cyrus’ sentiments need no interpretation.

Tune in for the next episode of One Minute Theater!